I seem to have left my pride at pride
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
