I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
