all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
