she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
