I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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