I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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