I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
