it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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