i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Even my vagina gasped.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
