What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
