one two three fourrrrnication!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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