...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
