Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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