I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
