Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
