his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
