You can't special order awesome
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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