I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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