"it" just moved
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
