Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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