my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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