I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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