i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
