I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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