Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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