How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's never too late to be topless.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Randomize
