everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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