The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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