Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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