I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
