Dual....:-)
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
