I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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