Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
