I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
