He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
