How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
