youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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