so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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