I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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