Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
