the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
