Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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