I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
