Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
