Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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