Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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