Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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