it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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