This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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