I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
