What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
