The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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