This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
